We are surrounded by old people. Heavens waiting room for sure.
what is it about summer that misdirects my moral compass so much?
so my mom told me to suck on something if I have to cough. so I guess blow jobs are ok
I don't really know I'm just giving her a key to get back in and the "don't get pregnant speech" and leaving it at that.
He could tell i had a fever by feeling my tits. He gets docter of the year.
We need to get sombreros so I can give them to strippers.
You know you need to hit the gym when you're not strong enough to get the cork outta the wine bottle. And you know you're a drunk when that's the only motivation to do exercises
Kyle found me outside his apartment in the hallway. Said he didn't hear me knock bt smelled alcohol through the door. I'm sucha bitch to my liver
Either I think of sex like a man, or all the men in Vegas are women.
My life is a clusterfuck of men and disorderly priorities right meow.
I just offered a cat a "drinky drinky" I'd say my night has started
I think if I send him enough nudes, he will buy my plane ticket.
...this is why fuck buddies should be only for grownups.
I think it’s appropriate to celebrate the start of mother’s day at the bar with the men that almost made me a mother
If I don’t find a quality dick soon I’m going to beg the neighbor for another threesome with her and her husband. It’s like Covid killed all the quality penis Vegas normally has
Randomize
