im in a kiddie pool, high, with a keg in arms reach. If i had a sandwich and a blowjob this would be the best day ever
Damn I can't remmbre the last tome I had sobr sex
Um. I believe with my boyfriend, slut
Fuck. Wron person. But yea
mom just called and i was mid bong hit but i answered anyways coughing and sounding rough she the apologized for waking her little angel up. its 2PM
Most guys don't get turned on by "skinny, gangly legged girl with glasses laying in bed touching herself." You better start working on your diction if you're gonna keep up the sexting.
Adams eating in the shower, he says it's one of his favorite places to eat. Btw it's milanos he's eating, he says he loves italy too.
we just saw you getting yelled at by the cops for trying to 'hijack' a street sweeper...how have you not been arrested yet?
When I told her that her boyfriend was making out with another chick, all she said was "which one"
Finally better. I had to use eye makeup remover to get the purple wine stains off my lips
I come back upstairs and there he was sitting in a speedo. He handed me a blanket and said "let's cuddle" how is this real life?
Are you still crying. What are you doing. Have 10 shots of tequila.
Be proud. All I did last night was roll around in my nun costume selling drugs. I love Halloween.
I suggest absurd amounts of masturbation this weekend to build up the necessary calluses
I woke up with a dick pic from the ex-Mormon via email. Not really what I wanted to see before my first cup of coffee this morning, but I gotta say, I'm impressed.
I think he's trying to finish jacking off before throwing up again
I told him I thought I was pregnant and he told me he accidentally killed my bird.
Circle of life.
Randomize
