Another weekend, another 3 guys I have to awkwardly avoid while crossing campus...
That fucking fat Asian kid that NOBODY invited is stuck in the dryer again
His health insurance plan WILL NOT cover Lasix surgery but it WILL cover 100% of a penis enlargment operation...
I'm not an expert but calling her the "hot lesbian" isn't going to coerce her into a 3some with you
well i just got discharged from the hospital after getting pegged in the head by a t-shirt gun so thats how my night was.
I'll have my TA grade the tests, she needs something to do anyway. Wanna race to the bar on segways?
The plan was to get laid... Now the plan is to survive.
walked into my roommates bathroom to her throwing up a quesadilla while singing come on skinny taco
You've been dating this guy for a month now and as your best friend I have to complain that I still don't how big his dick is.
I called you daddy and let you stick things in my butt, I am a damn 11.
You would think by the size of the lump on my ass that I would have remembered falling down a flight of stairs.
someone at the bars was yelling at the bouncer to let him in because he "just passed through the 7 levels of the candy cane forrest" soulmate?
go meet him and give him your number.
Why are you drunk at the library?
Why not?
he was wearing pj pants, thank you for not letting me go home with him
He deliberately gets me high because he knows I fuck better and then I make food for two. I don't know if I should feel mad or proud of him for thinking that far.
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