I've decided to bang my pen-pal.
Does getting a boner while watching the celtic women sing opera on ETV make me cultured?
someone was throwing condoms at us.
no, they just magically show up around you.
Also you were throwing your phone yelling this is durable as shit
You are the worst substitute drug dealer ever
What people don't tell you about near death experiences is they give you a full on chub
I didn't even know this guy existed until he'd had his hands down my pants, so I just went with it.
Yeah. Still not happy that my prof saw a picture of my vag.
Basically I will actually need a reindeer pulled sleigh to make it to all the penises in one night.
i tried giving myself a bikini wax.1. i hate you 2. i think i'm dying
im single, its not even nine am on Valentine's day and I've already gotten laid. suck it relationships
It's Valentine's Day, I figure for sure we'll have sex today, right? Wrong. I tried unsuccessfully for like an hour to get him to fuck me. Now he's asleep and I'm on my way to join the public library.
You have a husband. I have a bag full of electronics. This, is the single life.
I have four things I would like to do over summer too... Problem is they're all roommates
I can’t believe you’re letting her use the Mercedes
It seemed like a better idea while she was giving me a hand job. It’s a good thing we weren’t having sex. Who knows what I would agree to during sex
Randomize
