It's called penis withdraw. Or alcoholism. I get them confused these days.
New swimming pool is best sex toy ever. We are pioneering the doggie-style paddle.
You kept throwing bottles at the dorm across the courtyard and when anyone told you to stop you just said "who are you? Al Gore?"
apparently it's a turnoff if you ask a guy why he thinks he needs to use magnums
Ok I'm good with that cause I'm gonna disappear for 90 days
Are you goin to rehab again?
My Bio teacher gave me extra marks for putting "deer with AK-47 seeking retribution" at the top of the food chain on my exam. 51% pass here i come!!
He asked for a foot job. Whatever. I guess I'm swimming in new slut waters tonight.
Honestly bro, I can't look at girls you've banged. Its like looking herpes in the face.
GUESS WHO GOT ABSOLUTELY WASTED LAST NIGHT AND SPENT AN HOUR RAMBLING ABOUT KRAFT DINNER, HOCKEY, AND THE LAST TEMPTATION OF CHRIST
Ways to ruin a one night stand: the guy finds your parenting magazine on your dorm room desk.
Today is National Blunt Day in the Great State of Me. Come ovah
please don't forget about the bread in the toilet i am absolutely not dealing with that
you just don't appreciate it because you've never been arrested
Nothing like having a family watch you dry heave at the end of the dock
Someone made a Christmas song to the Flintstones theme and I'm suing for emotional distress.
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