Last night i was gna tell u about how i was watching project runway & how i was upset bc they replaced tim gunn & heidi klum. but then i realized that i was watching mythbusters.
True life - we need to smoke together more often
WTF why am I in the Atlanta airport?
A friday without alcohol is hardly a friday at all
And my fence, why is part of it on the roof?
i think i recognize dicks better than faces
My econ prof just gave me a shot glass because I was the "randomly picked" winner of the lecture. Ties into our supply and demand lecture, supplied with a shot glass, demand a thirsty thursday
Went to anytime fitness at 3:34 am drunk after the the bar and getting whataburger. Lifted weights with my cheeseburger between my knees. That's called DEDICATION.
they have a video of him in his boxers making a snow angel in the hallway is his own vomit and coca cola.
Your cock deserves a montage
My fuck buddy is great and all, but it gets weird when she gets in arguments with her BF in the driveway
People were staring and acting all judgmental and offended... Like they've never seen anyone breastfeed in a liquor store.
You're the horniest male I have ever encountered
Makes it sound like you're a scientist documenting your discoveries. I warned you.
I mean, you have to swipe right on someone you had sex with last week though, right?
you wouldn't let anybody come in after ten. everybody was standing outside and you just yelled "BEING PUNCTUAL IS IMPORTANT" and slammed the door. i dont think you should be allowed to have parties anymore
it concerns me that i was already that drunk at 10
I have commenced my lesbian college experimentation. Wish me luck
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