Yeah. I hotboxed a windbreaker.
everyone who works at gamestop is basically destined to live with their parents for the rest of their lives... so i said no.
ill find time for any girl whos not afraid to grab my junk in front of 100 people
someone left their shoes, a resume, and a pizza in the shower... i am actually speechless
I don't really want to explain to you right now but i just ate laundry detergent
Ps, did you know if you google "drunk jenga", you're the first image that shows up?
I just watched dragonflies fucking. You can't match that level of geek.
The slot machines are wishing me happy birthday. Mission success.
No, he went to go get condoms. The least I could do was chug two beers before he got back
Sware then you fell into me doing a Tarzan swing thing and my margherita spilled and shattered all over this guy and sice you were on the ground you tried to pull it off by twerking on the floor lmfao
Bouncer came into the bathrooms to tell us the old one-person-per-stall rule, realised it was two girls banging, and left us to it. Lesbiperks.
I jus want to remember tomorrow how proud I was tonight for wearing my rainbow leggings as a long sleeved shrug I feel like fucking MacGuyver
i don't know what happened one minute im stumbling home drunk and the next im drinking pabst and smoking with a french guy ive never met named hugo.
So the vodka/tequila mix went down fine but the burp made me cry
My new roommate looks like a troll. Or a serial killer. So if I disappear, show this text to the cops.
Randomize
