i just posted a lake picture of you with a dead fish in your mouth. happy july 5th.
I am one bad relationship away from having 30 cats.
Eliza got arrested. What's the protocol on eating an arrested person's sandwich?
just credit carded her and her mom at the same time... that drunk. get on my level
He keeps whispering to me that he can't wait to tie my hands up with my wig?
There's a bed on the roof. The window behind it is too small for it to go through. I'm impressed.
Sooo the theme of my 21st is rapidly becoming Gay Mexico
I'm still drunk. I put on workout clothes this morning and just puked in my bathroom. That's the same as going to the gym, right?
Currently at a fetish club with a set of swings (don't ask). Having flashbacks to the park by my house
Today in French class my teacher was singing "what does the fox say" so i started answering in similar satanic ritual noises
She mentions her boyfriend one more time, I'm taking her home and breaking that shit up.
I know it's anime porn but I promise you the guy looks like Fred Durst
I'm gonna play eenie meenie at the bar tonight because it's women's day and I deserve the dick
Oh damn it. Let me get a beer. I can't take anymore bad news. Hold on.
This is a question I thought I'd never have to ask. How many hits of acid did you give your dad tonight?
Randomize
