This is the worst date ever. Pls kill me. No, wait, scratch that, stick to the original plan of killing Paris Hilton, I'll live though this
i dont even know how to be here
shes still asleep dad put a lobster in her bathroom
I'd really appreciate it if we could dress up as pilgrims and indians for the thanksgiving eve bar crawl
Yeah. I realized I have a weakness for drugs and I need to move somewhere where I don't know how to find them.
IT'S A HOLY FESTIVAL. A BUDDHIST CELEBRATION OF PENIS.
She's trying to put on her dog muzzle on her self
I'm high and I have a consensual booty call on the way and just thought that it was a good time to let you know that I think that you are a stellar person.
You kept ripping all your clothes off and saying, "Let me be free!"
Your normalization of crazy is frightening.
Just walked past the field playing Jesus music with a fanny pack full of condoms and beer. Happy Sunday.
she was concerned about my dick piercings.
Omg I should get on tinder just to get some edibles in town
i came so much i feel like i were to try again, only dust would come out. and maybe glitter
I really want to stop getting this drunk. I've got the Sunday scaries and it's only Saturday
Randomize
