508, what difference does it make? You were alone, anyway.
Is it really that bad? I heard it was like pooping. I like pooping.
Sorry I had passed out by this time I think, with the chicken fingers ON my face in my bed, with all the lights on, and ketchup all over.
Apparently, my drunken 3AM idea of safety is to send a GPS map of my location to someone 700 miles away. Seriously considering death as a viable alternative to this hangover. Death or Yuengling.
I wanted to be mature but the vodka was resilient.
Hey..um, you dont know me, but I just found your purse in a bush at the end of my street this morning
I never thought I'd say this, but I think I just saw the hottest pregnant chick alive.
I'm pleased to know that your mom refers to me as "the ass piliager" now
Honestly it's a super power. I can try it a million different ways and nothing happens. Donnie casually says "ok this is now a toppless party" and it all kicks-off
you guys have a strange definition of the word fun. I would have said dangerous, terrifying, or life-threatening. of course, bowling can now be described the same way.
She said she was hoping I'd be hotter. I told her I didn't see anybody standing in line to titty fuck her either. She was a great kisser.
He was telling me about how he's leaving on his Mission next week... While we were having sex in the back of his car.
I apologize for there being a shopping cart in the living room. I don't know how why or where i got it.
I am so so sorry I bit your butt last night. Twice.
He spent ten minutes post bj, limp cock still out, in shock repeating 'best blow job ever'. So yes, yelling I am the penis queen out the car window was justified.
Randomize
