I thought you should know that you passed out in your trash can last night.
Thanks for throwing up on me.
I JUST WANT SOMEBODY TO EXPLAIN HOW FORESKIN WORKS AND DO NOT UNDERSTAND WHY THIS IS A PROBLEM.
If you're still awake, how rude would it be if I masturbated in her new apartment on moving day? If you're asleep, then ask me how it was.
He tied my whole arm, in its cast, to the headboard first. He mumbled something about safe, sane, and consensual?
Between the dance party in the car and the distraction of the momma bear and two cubs im a cops wet dream roght now when comes to wreckless driving.
Luckily my prof thought I was puking from nerves and gave me motivational mini speeches the entire final.
Bailey. He has a soul patch. Idgaf if he was an NFL player. Nobody with a soul patch is attractive.
Brian got his first ever blow job last night. We should make him a scrapbook.
Just ran into her dad at the strip club. He bought me a dance. I think i found a winner.
I just got breakfast in bed and he went down on me. And you though he was a bad idea. Shame
I gave him a BJ and he left. Coincidentally that's the name of my memoir.
i've now hooked up with two guys who have tattoos of their sister's names...so that's a reality i have to live with...
Your drunk naked friend is roaming the living room. Started roaming my room. Please come retrieve him
Oh damn it. Let me get a beer. I can't take anymore bad news. Hold on.
He nicknamed his dick "the fountain of youth" I think it's time to move on...
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