party was madd awkward.. it was like every person who i sat next to in high school and never said hi to was there
I wish I only lived at night.
A freshman just woke up on our back pourch... He swears there was a party here last night but we didn't have one
and now I know what throwing up pineapple chunks is like.
Yeah, we had those soaking in vodka for like 36 hours
outstanding.
Registered sex offender is the model in class today.... There are too many things wrong with him getting naked in front of a lot of college students.
I got my project done and a booty call in all before 1am. I'm a professional college kid.
I stole a fireplace last night.
I may hire someone just to sell my family the drugs they keep asking me for. It's cutting into my doing drugs time.
Thought I was doing makeup today for a photo shoot for a short film. WRONG. Try I'm on the set for a Fucking Sci-Fi PORN.
LOVE ME MORE THAN PIZZA CAN
He kept asking for nudes so I sent him a picture another guys dick. He called me ruthless.
Sorry for throwing up in your humidifier last night, I thought it was some sort of electrical garbage can
beggars cant be choosers....im desperate and he has a dick. he checks all the boxes.
A black cat walked my drunken ass home last night and made sure I made it back into the apartment safe. Sat with me for 30 minutes as I struggled to unlock the door. Guardian angel or drunken hallucinations?
how is it I left wearing underwear then ended up with none? and why is it they are on you?
Randomize
