Well, she's an atheist who is addicted to the Sims.
Who isn't?
Well, I'm a guy so I don't have one, but if its anything like the inside of my nose, yes, vodka would burn.
Blowjobs in the shower are a lot like blowjobs not in the shower. Awesome.
Is it ironic that the girl with the horse face is also on the equestrian team?
It just makes me feel nauseous. And I don't want to feel nauseous when all I really want is to get off.
reason #1 why i should never live alone: i haven't put pants on since she left 26 hours ago. and ive made spaghetti 3 times.
Last night someone asked you what your favorite color was and you said "bagel."
Went home with a dude from UF last night. Just dripped chicken onto my phone and then licked it off. Going to pick up a bridesmaid dress. Mid 20s in a nutshell.
I literally wonder, frequently, "Will anyone ever fuck me until i go cross eyed for 2 hours again?''
CURSE YOU AND YOUR SEXY LOGIC
You gotta have 1 orgasm for me and the rest can be for you. I'm living vicariously through you 😂
Road head absolutely translates. That's the beauty of road head... It's so portable!
I am dancing alone in my bathroom because I was paranoid the neighbors were watching through the windows
also, i'm not sure if i'm proud to say this but our regional manager's hot fiance was grinding on me at the reception while he stood and watched.
i suppose that explains why he told me he plans on promoting you this Friday.
Lol. I liked you the most when we were banging random girls and trying to tag team everything. You were happier then.
Randomize
