God dammit. Now I'm pissed at Arizona, while feeling bad for my poor, poor penis.
Oh my god. I just envisioned myself eating panda meat. I need to get out of this class.
I love my bros weed
Im gonna hate it in like 20 mins though
Those former-lesbian gone white-trash bars always seem to be your favorite.
I gave ten strangers a full description of his penis and its abilities. I need to stop drinking.
Thanks for bailing me out last night guys. it's bullshit that everbeering people at bars is illegal. bitches have no sense of adventure anymore
You went down on Rachel in front me last night. Worst. Brother. Ever.
One guy got his nose broke and was playing with it. Then another guy was playing beer pong off his horse.
Did you really get up in the middle of a tattoo to go get Taco Bell?
I'm coming right back.
Take a shit and have a hit. It's the Sunday Funday Rule.
I basically gave Miranda rights to the guy I hooked up with, jus so we were all clear what was happening
If only I could bank my drunk hookups for a sober IOU.
My mom has a bong in her bathroom, but no air freshener.
He licked the buffalo sauce off my fingers and then we had the best sex of my life.
I found my bra I wore on Friday night...he fucked the underwire out of it
hahahahaha
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