You guys sftrill at mcdondalds?!!!!
Yes.
fuckin bring me a cheseburgeria
i love accidental penises.
period poops. best. ever.
omigod im sitting here with ben and he and i both got that...chick you totally just mass texted that...
Mass Text: Free blowjob to first person to bring me a nacho cheese chalupa.
...She was shooting whiskey using a turkey baster...i was horrified.
can we get together and have a vodka water gun fight? i need to get som intense excersise/alcohol
I just texted him and asked him to keep some in case I need help sealing the deal.
Girl Scout cookies are like roofies for fat chicks.
I think I may have walked up to her while she was with her friends and asked for a "do over".
I can only send "I want your dick" texts to so many guys before I accidentally over-book myself. I need a day planner.
These are all good points. But, I think your under estimating what it's like to be held upside down for a standing 69
Just had a VERY VIVID visualization of wrapping a pizza around my cock and fucking its brains out. Soooooo less weed more dates?
Yeah yeah I know I have to bring your dog back.
Shut up. The only friend I need in life is Jim Beam because life is meaningless.
just ran into my father at CVS while buying condoms...he winked at me. I really need to move out of this town.
let your parents know i'm sorry i ran around the house pretending their metal detector was a "booze detector"
Randomize
