i wish i could watch tv and lissten to music at the same time...but still understand both
i think otters can do that
I've been congratulating people on facebook about their forthcoming pregnancies. I can't wait to see how this plays out
once you get past the part where you think youre gonna die, its the most amazing drug ive ever experienced.
As the night goes on these shots are getting so much easier. My liver jst needed a warmup lap.
The car just stinks of weed and we are all sitting here trying to hide it from my mom by rolling down the windows, like it's not coming off my sisters boyfriend
I told him that his face would look perfect between my legs. One of my most successful strategies yet.
I will not be held responsible for my vagina's poor judgment.
I was grossed out that all their candles smelled like vagina and then I remembered where my fingers had been.
Nothing says besties like laying naked in bed hungover arguing over who is getting the pants
Next year for Halloween you can be the sword swallower, with a penis shaped sword.
Not sure but if it exists I will find it and I will fill my face with it
How likely is it that we can see each other tomorrow night? I want to shave my legs in good faith but it's cold outside and my bathroom is drafty.
the puppy had a little leather gag and was using a ball gag as a fetch toy
I was taking this cougar home in the middle of the night I walked across the hall all naked to take a piss and ran into to some chick from highschool she said no way you are fucking my mom ran into her moms room and started yelling at her
Apparently I told him the people made me order taco bell I didn't even want it. And then proceeded to turn off all the lights and sit at the kitchen table in the dark and told him not to look at me.
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