Dude she let me cum on her face
You have the wrong number I'm the she who let you cum on her face unless some other girl has let you since this morning
Made a salesman quit his job, a saleswoman cry, and got a manager to half shout "fuck this"....successful drunk Christmas shopping
He got drunk and insisted on licking my eyeball and called it a test of my trust in him.
He went down on me while I had rollers in my hair. I've never felt more like a lady.
He has what he calls a "Ben Franklin". It's a pubic hairdo based on the man himself; long on the sides and bald in the middle.
You throw up behind 1 mannequin and it's world war 3 in forever 21
I've peed outside too many times in just this past week
We had sex on his grandparents floor... the taxidermy deer was staring at me the whole time!
Who says no to sex and donuts?!
He has a syndrome called asshole. And it flares up 24/7.
I'm totally picking out my shrooming outfit and blankets right now
Listen, all I’m saying is, if you’re lying naked next to a hot chick, you don’t start discussing dental hygiene.
The underwear in the garbage is clean. Just wipe the pizza sauce off
Remember those neighbors I thought were FBI agents? Turns out they're DEA.
We won like $80 last night at the casino, so if we get the Plan B we still have enough to get your basic bitch latte from Dunkin. Calm down.
Randomize
