what are you wearing?
Just my guilt
tell your sister to shave her snatch
Take xtc, wait 20 minutes and then take a shower. Trust me.
Why did you take off so early
No more beer. And also. Threesome. Maybe. Ill let you know.
I'm in the laundromat a drunk armenian guy keeps trying to help me fold my laundry. Ah i'm going to miss queens.
funny how all you have to say is "i'm infertile" and boys are stoked on you
how do I tell him nicely and in french that we can't have sex anymore because his huge penis will ruin me for other french men?
I think we can all look back on last night and categorize it under, " reason why Cory can't be left at the bar by himself"
Just had a tranny complement my outfit. Looks like I'll have to change before we go out.
I don't know, I think having hemorrhoids shows character. You have to be trying pretty hard to get them.
your life is going to be an empowering working mom montage tomorrow to Katy P's ROAR... --are you living in a yoplaít comercial?
New Serial podcast is out. We can listen to it tonight instead of having sex.
Did you have a good sleep?
if a good sleep includes waking up cuddling a bottle of wine I had a GREAT sleep
Sorry I had sex in your backseat while everyone was in the car
It's quite alright. I found his shorts in my backseat, not sure what he was wearing when we dropped him off
You know you're more responsible when you turn down your bed and make a clear path to it before you go out..
Randomize
