let's just say, the carpet matched the drapes. in colour and length.
ha so i just found a picture of you eating paper towels and many of Laura freaking out from it.
So I decided to start saving money for my abortion in a tomato sauce jar because it says ‘Prego.’ I know I thought it was fucking genius!
the tow truck driver and i bonded while discussing our experiences with four lokos
Should i put up a tasteful banner for your party that says last chance to sleep with maya?
he just hooked up with some chick in a bedroom upstairs so I just went to sleep in the pantry closet...
I've had three separate encounters with cops in the last 9 hours.... In two different states
Do drug dealers work on Memorial Day?
Security deposit gone.
burned down garage with fireworks.
You know you threw a brownie at my head last night. And said you did it to defend the turtles honer....
You were drunk at 5 You went to the dining hall and cried because your brain and fingers weren't working. Your RA came up to you and suddenly you became sober. I was very proud of you.
I just feel like I'm worth a little bit more than your recycled nudes...
I don't think he likes that I'm always sending him pictures of me in my bra but he needs to get it together
I AM GONNA CUM EVERYWHERE TONIGHT BRO.
I should never have to text my best friend asking if she eloped again last night.
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