You are a beautiful, beautiful young lady. Your heart is made of tissue, blood and love. I will call you very soon, Princess Sophia.
watching elf naked is so much better than watching it with clothes on .
I'm at the airport and there's a guy wearing all camoflash to go hunting .. Should I bump in to him and say woahh sorry didn't see you there?
So I'm at planned parenthood and there are 5 people here from Friday's party.
My ex best friend's ex fuck buddy is visiting. There was no other option but day drinking.
let's just skip the pleasantries and go back to my place for pizza and casual sex
Bon Iver should never be played when you just ate shrooms.
You called a girl at 4:30am to tell her "your pussy is my top priority" while simultaneously Urban Spooning late night cafes.
Pictures of drunk me in a bike helmet are like McDonald's collectible toys. There's sooo many, but NO ONE has seen all of them.
Beer and tomahawks! Not gonna end well!
I'm 50% okay with that amount of body contact... plus/minus 7% based on where blood may flow.
Just got biofeeze on my vag. Weirdest sensation everrr. Can't decide if I want to cum or cry
We both know we're cheating on one another. But our side pieces aren't as kinky as us...so yeah, we're still together. This is a fucked up relationship.
I'm now using my vagina for good, not evil. Trying to restore balance to the force.
Do plants get herpes?
who is this
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