why does hillary duff have a greatest hits album?
am i the only one who has tried sucking their own cock????
I just snorted a line of adderall through a rolled up business card for the Michigan Law Admissions Office.... Tell me I'm not motivated
Being a girl sucks.
Being a boyfriend sucks for about a week, too
She told me I was only the second guy she slept with. I told her she was only my second Megan.
beyond obliterated. i recall legitimately trying to use a ballpoint pen as eyeliner.
I saw you eating fruit and doing shots off people passed out
If I ever write a book, i'm calling it "why do i work with fucktards?"
It'll be a good sequel to my other book, "why do i sleep with fucktards?"
Like hey, "you just spent $135k to go to a nobody law school to drive a mini van, be a dj, live in a smalllll ass apartment that smells like cats and your girlfriend fucks other guys."
I made a Russian puke. I outdrank a Russian. I am unstoppable.
Sorrye. The bathtuv says hi. But theresno water in it. I've wanted too tell you for the longest, but nevr could
That dog was the best thing i ever touched
There was blow residue on my chem book and my TA was like, did u stain your notebook with CaCO3?
The condition was that I had to eat her out to Beethoven
Legit just looked at the gin bottle and said, “Aw fuck, I’m going to feel this in the morning.”
Randomize
