I'd rather watch my mom take a shit while reading the sunday new york times than watch mama mia .
Okay call me later ill be watching lifetime and scrubbing throw up off my feet
Watching this movie and saying "drink every time you see an animal" was a bad idea...circle of life...holy crap
My workout was carrying 2 cases home from the grocery. It's Bowl Week.
and I'm going to name my autobiography "blow jobs with enthusiasm are the best"
I'm naming my autobiography "Reasons Not to Date Girls From Texas."
i just watched a special on porn, the business isn't doing so good. You may want to wait before you start your career
Iranian Rapper, camaroonian basketball player, mexican i forget and indian doctor....this one looks the best on paper.
I tipped the hot bartender my entire wallet. Again.
It was like good, clean fun, but with bodyshots.
When he sent me a picture, I swear my vag frowned. That tiny.
I was paranoid that someone would jizz in my hair while I had the cucumbers over my eyes. Super-High Spa Day didnt work out.
I tried to light my cup as a bong. I'm done drinking
Validation I posted a good pic? The lonely fuckboys send out the booty call signal. Of course I answered the call; Gotham needs its hero.
Let's just grow old together and be the crazy ladies that sit on the park bench, drinking booze from flasks and loudly talk about people who walk by.
Well, I have no idea where my underwear is, so yea I would say it was a good weekend.
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