Oh just a soda. I'm "driving"
so i'm sitting in his room drinking tequila from the bottle and watching harry potter. he's jacking off to some porn a couple feet away from me. at one point i look over and see that he's watching me instead of the porn. please help me figure out how warped it is that i found that romantic
she was definitely a virgin. no ones that bad unless theyre a virgin
your sister was..
please tell me you remember why "7 days" is written above my bed in red marker
A moment of silence for all our pussy whips bro's who had to endure the NEW MOON premier!
Listen, Pinot Grigio got me pregnant. It can get you a boyfriend.
Shaking her cervix like it's the hottest ticket around
i am literally watching eva make a trashbag diaper for you to sleep in tonight. whole new level of low for you.
the best thing about long term relationship is that the fact that i bothered to shave my legs today counts as a valentines gift
I went to the haunted house just to see her - Hello new fetish!
You broke the end off a wine bottle, ran outside and screamed "FOR NARNIA!!"
i decided if i had to, i could survive with only 3 fingers on each hand.
As I was about to fuck him, he requested a moment of silence for Leonard Nimoy.
He just kept pissing on the couch as we were yelling at him while he repeatedly told us "its going to be okay".
They want a bedroom just for their cats. And you thought we were gay.
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