Um, I don't know who U MEANT to send that to, but yes I WAS going to fuck you. Instead you can go play Halo with ur friends.
So I just watched the Lakers/Magic game so I could have something to talk about with him after we have sex this time
well my last 2 orgasms were over shoe sales at macy's. what does that tell you?
I'd call her a cunt, but she dooesn't seem to have the depth or warmth.
No amount of marijuana is enough to justify blood on my ceiling
I remember nothing except the fact it happened and I ate doritos and we highfived a lot
she just called me the flavor packet to her ramen noodles. get me the fuck out of here.
Mid stroke she told me she'd had bigger. Replied I could tell. Sex ended right at that moment.
DISHONOR ON YOU. DISHONOR ON YO FAMILY. DISHONOR ON YO COW
New guy at work just gave me a Percocet for my headache. Officially best friends
You know how I know last night was a good night? Because I remember high fiving a couple WHILE they were having sex.
I can't masturbate without laughing really hard at some point and it's entirely your fault.
I mean, I already hooked up with her boyfriend. The least I can do is accept her facebook friend request.
I love FaceTime, every time you ring me the morning after its like I went home with your one night stand too.
I think I hear the ice cream truck
I could be going crazy though
NO IT IS THE ICE CREAM TRUCK IT'S ALMOST AT YOUR STOP
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