please remember that your boobs are bigger than your sisters. when you borrow her shirts they stretch and then shes left flapping in the breeze. dont borrow her clothes anymore. love dad.
This show inspires me to have sex in space
Ask politely.
Fine. Can i please come over, hang out with you, sit around a campfire, smoke tree, listen to sublime, and fuck the shit out of you?
Thats good enough.
It's like even though I'm not in college anymore my body still knows it's September and is putting itself into competitive binge drinking mode.
I find it very uncomfortable that I need to ask you to stop sending me pictures of your stomach
I really need to create fewer "the time I was on drugs" stories for my future memoir, "my first year in San Francisco".
good luck with that
we were sitting in the kitchen and you kept biting my shoulder saying "itll all be over soon"
The doctor that gave me my std test is trying to hook me up with her daughter lol
I feel like someone poured gasoline and bleach in my nose and lit it on fire.
Why! I don't feel that at all!!!! I feel jipped
I'm surprised I didn't lose anything last night. Except maybe my dignity but other than that we gucci.
He sat on me and said I owed him $10, when I asked why he just said "lap dance"
Oh it's tea and biscuits for everyone. An possibly pink eye
I remember sitting in your lap naked saying I don't want to be all looks while you gently rocked me back and forth
You had a 45min conversation with the Ronald McDonald statue I have the video to prove it
right after that u started calling me g-force and started trying to bellyslide down his drive way
Randomize
