so now that im really awake i see that my underwear are completely ripped down the side, my shorts are on backwards, i have to go get plan b....i call last night an epic fail or success depending on how catholic i am feeling
And then I have a slight inkling that I went up to the bar and tried to order the bartender.
just brushed my teeth with a bottle of jack. ew. not all it's hyped up to be.
College is just filling the gap until I get a rich girl pregnant
Nobody is wearing shirts anymore. What is happening.
we made out inside of a kiddie slide for about 20 mins. it was the sexiest, most suffocating experience I've ever had
Just so you're aware, tomorrow is "Slow Clap when you see Mike" day.
Im pretty sure that girl just said "Im taking you home even if your girlfriend has to come too." Why are we here again?
Dude, if I don't end up wearing a banana suit in Milwaukee, I will consider that trip a complete failure.
Drunk Jeff aka Dreff thinks he's about 3x cooler than be really is and about 100x better at dancing than he really is
Okay. This morning the comforter was wet, you were underwearless and using a tiny blanket. What'd you do??
See this is where I mess up.. I get distracted by the option of consistent sex and free beer
Being in nursing school really pays off when your dealer tries to pass off naproxen as Percocet. Like I may have made a C in pharm but I aced the pain drug test
I wish I were single again so I could actually have sex.
My vagina cried when he left. I think she's about to be at war with my self respect.
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