Is it weird that I miss finding cum in my bed?
Henry's handball, Tiger Wood's Car Crash, Roger Federer losing ... That's it....I'm throwing my Gillete away
My boyfriend texted me as I was texting some random hookup from last night. His text: "Morning baby" My response: "Your cum is in my hair"
drunk doesn't even begin to explain it. dude called him and said to bring you back because he'd already called dibs.
she danced around my room naked waving around the gold trojan magnum condoms singing "i have the golden ticket."
little did she know i was taping her the whole time.
I'm sitting in my bathroom sink, eating a tuna sandwich. He had better weed than I expected.
I'm sitting in the middle of them on his bed, forcing them to watch Brokeback Mountain. I am the best cock blocker ever.
his dick makes me think maybe a monogamous relationship forever is possible.
And in my birthday dress, with my friends, i peed on myself in line for the club. Still went in and partied. I remember pieces
and lets be real... who can blow a middle school class's sunday school teacher and keep a straight face ever again? NOBODY.
I should start an etsy shop with all the jewelry and clothes women leave at my house
Fuck you. I've got onesies to keep me warm at night. And this bottle.
It's gonna be me and some oreos tonight. Basically like sex
I need dick so bad, I’m dressing sexy for the school pick up line and sports practices to entice a few of the DILFs
Dude, she was there with her husband and I was there with my wife. Of course we banged in the bathroom.
Randomize
