what ever happened to devon sawa?
fuck...who knows?
i'm really worried about him.
I woke up face down on my laptop with three windows open: itunes, chat roulette and redtube
How do u explain cocaine to a 9 year old?
I literally might walk of shame home on a cable car. If that doesn't scream San Francisco I don't know what does
Watching dad use Doritos to illustrate exactly where to locate the clitoris. How's your family christmas going?
I want someone to sweep me off my feet and you want someone to fuck you on the kitchen table. They're both perfectly logical needs.
I think we got naked. I can't remember but if you have "friends" written on your ass, then we did. Because I have "best" on mine.
It's hard to hold down the snapchat button for video while thrusting. Sorry if the cinematography wasn't Oscar-worthy.
I'm sorry your Amazon says buttplugs now
Fuck you know you drunk when you start signing the Masson impossjvke song to entourage yourself to pee
My Tinder date from last night is my Uber driver for tonight's Tinder date...neither of us said a word.
He's ready to settle down, whereas I'm like "More shots please"
Oh and he asked if I would occasionally still blow him if we had children. It was so romantic.
I would rather contract a disease that would eat me from the inside out and make me suffer painfully while it slowly killed me than to put myself through the 20 minutes of agony that is having sex with you ever ever again.
I think you're talking dirty but I'm not sure???
Pretty sure I just pissed straight whiskey...
Randomize
