He told me he was ok to drive home. Then I found him face-planted in the parking lot.
its a nice change of pace not blacking out and actually remembering getting laid
My lab manual has instructions for making home wine. Room project?
I maybe just had sex outside in broad daylight. At a state park. Please be proud.
I told her I had the flu when in reality I did way too many drugs last night, haven't slept and don't want to sit through a 3 hour buisness meeting trying to figure out which voices are real and which are in my head
you came out with your cock in between the legs of a balloon animal. Maybe she'll think you have a sense of humor.
What kind of balloon animal was it?
That girl is nothing but trouble. She's 40% red hair and 60% daddy issues.
When Vanessa's kindergarten teacher called me in because she was caught with her hand down some boys pants in the bathroom, I knew you babysat last week.
cool, get new shit, I dnt want the same old if it's my last drink ever
The world isn't ending you idiot. I'll grab beer
Yeah play it cool maybe put in a kissy face though let him know you're giving an invitation for his dick
Awareness is good for change and all, but ignorance is bliss. I like bliss.
Hook ups at LEGOLAND don't count right?
Are we playing inappropriate sexual encounters bingo?
Thank you for listening to my rant about tacos.
I'm having shoppers remorse over a dildo
I just caught your son trying to perform fellatio on himself. What do I do?
Randomize
