Skipping work because i'm still too drunk from last night still. got home at midnight and passed out in front of my door for 2 hours bc i couldn't find my key
had to call my rooommate to let us in. Passed out in my dress and found the key on my hair tie-in my hair- just now.
I just saw a stripper wear a tube top around her floppy gut. God bless Michigan.
singing james blunt while drunk. tell me thats not wonderful
I'm drinking reisling in a paper cup by myself in the garage.
I know it is almost summer when the students in my night class start showing up drunk.
Say it nicely.
Fine. I want to lovingly bend you over and lovingly fuck the shit out of you. Happy?
Is my lip ring still in your hair?
Just lifeguarded a kid's party hungover so I could afford to go out drinking tonight. Circle of life shit goin on here.
I have a cut on my head from a tambourine.
Just lectured your brother about using condoms when hooking up with girls he meets online. I should be a fucking life coach
i always handshake my one night stand, im classy like that.
Learn from my mistakes. DO NOT try to steam a garment of clothing while you are wearing it. The burn is not worth the de-wrinkle.
we've talked on the toilet we're linked now
I gave him a hand job in the parking lot... now he thinks we're meant for each other...
You don't understand. This boy has the Mona Lisa of cocks.
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