thx for the lesson on dirrty dancing
I just remembered that last night when we tried to walk off the spins you said "pretend i'm your pet dinosaur" so i walked you around on an invisible leash while you made t-rex hissing noises.
JoAnns office is warmer than mine. . .it must be because she has the gateway to hell under her desk.
I haven't been able to trust a girl since spanks came out
If you weren't supposed to have sex with your ex then they wouldn't rhyme.
All I wanted was a "this is what America feels like" blowjob before I left. Is that too much to ask for?
So apparently I threw a potted plant at a clown last night and told him to get his life together.
You're dating a nurse! That's smart, you never know when you'll have a medical emergency. Probably liver failure.
be warned: you might find a baby hampster in my bra
I'm gonna have to kick a girl scouts ass...
last night we watched this really loud chick try and pick up this smoking french guy who's english was sooo bad. she finally pointed at her beer and then her vagine
gross
like you've never done an interperative dance for sex, please
I gave him a BJ in the shower
I just fell and it seemed like a good idea when I was down there
Dude, you need to come and get her. She's sitting on the bathroom floor making hearts with her menstrual blood. And remind me never to let her do jello shots again
I texted him "my vagina is pounding for you"
I know, you made me proof read it.
I hate when he takes the condom off to cum all over me. It defeats the purpose.
It’s like having a barf bag and choosing to puke in your own lap.
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