remember that time i ran away from the bar and passed out in a street cot?
neither do i
I just puked in an auto zone parking lot. I'm never eating peanut butter and red wine for dinner again.
you laugh because clearly you have never had to clean poop out of a tub
I just saw someone EAT a flashcard out of frustration. Finals suck.
heres the thing, we have 120 cans of beer left in the fridge. until thats finished we cant fit food in the fridge
you have failed as an in class drinking partner.
Yea dude. I'm gonna be the life of the party. THIS BITCH GETS DRUNK BY HERSELF
Idk. I was speaking metaphorically. Go for it. As one of your bad decisions, I feel confident in saying you've done worse.
I left myself a note saying 'buy a hamster but not an orange one like this pen'
omg so drunk
Somehow I got food poisoning AND alcohol poisoning in the same night. Its like everything I love is trying to kill me. I'm waiting for my tv to make its move.
Yeah I mean once a gun is being waved around, its probably a good time to leave the party
But the music was sooo good
It's not vacation until I get called "disgustinly sexy" by an fat woman whose older than my mother.
He sang a ten minute song about me sitting on his face and eating quesadillas. Pretty sure I have to marry him.
Like, my vagina is jet-lagged.
i need to get crying drunk at the bar more often. i end up going home with guys who have big penises. its like God is saying "there, there, this will cheer you up".
Randomize
