just realized i've hooked up with 3/4 of the guys here COOL
I wana party with Kermit the frog, no wait. Fozzy the bear. He's probably a silly bitch when he's drunk.
You know when you blow me it's the softest, most amazing feeling ever. Like putting my dick in a silk bag filled with puppy ears.
We smoked a bowl, ate popcorn, and watched her lava lamp for an hour. it was a quality bonding experience
It's been so long that I've occasionally forgotten I own a vagina
Thanks for not locking your door. I had to pee and there was a random person throwing up in my bathroom so I used yours. \nPS I stole your soap
You can jump from the roof to the pool. Trust me. I have done this before.
I have to confess something, I may or may not have knocked on your window at 2:30 am while balancing on some guys hands. We found tequila.
The only thing I remember last night was feeding my dog 4 McDoubles.
That guy was drunk and couldn't get it up so he just tried to scissor me.
My mom just told me not to dance on any tables on Halloween...I'm choosing to take that statement as a joke
He deserves someone who will touch his penis at 3 a.m.
Pretty sure my parents just hear me get off from the living room but I feel like they should be proud that I did it without a man honestly.
I'm recovering from the blowjob...She's doing her taxes...
YOU ARE THE ONLY PERSON I KNOW THAT STEALTH CLEANS PEOPLE TOILETS
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