You know, I didn't realize this at the time, but it appears that I am being "heavily petted" by 3 grown men in that pic.
If these were biblical times then you'd be a Roman Senator.
you dont have to exercise, you threw up last night!
ill give you a picture of me naked for $5. im desperate.
i have no feeling in my penis or fingers but i think it was worth it
Congrats on having the best tasting nipple at the bar last night.
Woman at starbucks on her computer with a garbage bag of popcorn and a bottle of lotion. Where are you coming from?!
Hooking up with him was lovely.. but waking up in his bed the next morning and finding double stuffed oreos... I mean.... I won
This is stupid. I am not getting knocked up from fucking in his backseat behind a starbucks. I refuse.
So now I can cross "have my ass be someone's phone background" off the bucket list. You know, if it was something I actually had wanted to happen.
You know it's time to call it a night when every guy in the bar (all 3 of them) have seen you naked at one time or another.
Like people might wonder why I put up with your puns. You give good head and play with my hair
You would be successful and sober without me. you can't turn your bakon me now
She bruised my penis again. But, trooper I am we kept on going.
Bear grylls would be proud of my improvisation. Just used her vibrator to massage my back after hurting it at work.
Here's the "to do" list i just found on my phone: buy stripper pole, make sex playlist, buy febreeze
Randomize
