this party is like a fast-foward into the future when im 40 and married with children
Is pulling weed out of a vagina a good thing or a bad thing?
By the way, I think my next facebook status update will read, "Aaron recently found out Vanessa's a screamer."
oh god.
If I say "It's good enough" and I'm not talking about a sandwhich, that's your queue to stop me, you're supposed to be my friend.
You know... If I put the same amount of effort into school as I put into giving women orgasms I would be a Rhodes scholar
Your like the Mozart of blow jobs, you make every other girl seem like cheesy elevator music.
If we worried less about pouring champagne down stripper crack, we probably wouldn't skip so many meals.
Can you come get Dustin he's putting taco bell fire sauce on cigarettes trying to light them again.
It's was about average. But he had a tat on his thigh that said "pull-out n' rollout" so I won't have to worry about a round two request.
I'm 99% sure I just flashed my dad with my vagina. So that's the new low now.
Please tell me those naked pics were not your mom. Lie if you have to.
I just said "I love my cat" as a hobby.
I look at it as community service. He was going through a rough time and I gave him an ego boost. That's how we're going to remember it. I was doing a good deed lol
Anne is dead. totally passed out and was flat out in the street
I like to make sure they know it's casual by giving then a high five after sex
Randomize
