I love you!
You're insane
Fuckin crazy man! Seriously though I think if you would have me I honestly seriously think about marrying u!
Alright now lets video chat so I can xshow u my dick! Hahahaha
scratch lunch, i just found about 7 more dicks drawn on my back
he burped in my vagina and tried to deny it...
My male hookup buddy is gonna meet my female hookup buddy, let the awkward hookup games begin!
dude that bald bouncer just did a body shot off of brian and then kicked us out for trying to charge him for it
Stumbled into class and into a desk. When I fell my bottle broke in my backpack. I had to leave there was vodka everywhere.
All is not lost. The bondage chair came with repair seals and glue. It's like the knewwwwwww this would happen.
My vagina senses are tingling. I know your here.
Once you mention butt plugs, conversations always take a turn for the worst.
Yeah her jello shots are the next closest thing to a lethal injection. That potent.
Would you judge me if I made John grow a bush while he is in Cancun so he doesn't cheat on me?
These beer shits have taken over my entire life.
Im wearing black today mourning the orgasm i couldn't get this morning :(
I feel like I got run over by a steamroller made of cigarettes and booze driven by all of the men I've slept with.
We can only continue to use the "oh what's the difference between circumcised and uncircumcised" for a few more months before people will see through our lies
Randomize
