yeah it was kind of like, i'm 27 and still live in a frat house.. you honestly expect me to have "moral fiber" and a "conscience"
what made it akward was his girlfriends dog watching us have sex
Good ideas don't start with we have a bottle of vodka..
i definitely just woke up with half of a cigarette tucked underneath my balls. Last night must have been interesting
and my souvenir for the night was a nice ambulance blanket
I have jerked off in every room in your house. *the more you know
He legit asked if he could come over for a hug. I feel like I've been booty called by a 12 year old.
He just subscribed to one of my Spotify playlists. The next step is sex.
So the contents found in my winter coats this year: coat 1, condom and 10$. Coat 2, condom and 75$ check. Coat 3, 2.05$ and a sunflower seed.
Obviously coat 3 had the best time since you used the condom and all of the money
ask me again when I'm sobewr aka tuesday
That's the 3rd time in 6 months I woke up on the hallway floor using a towel as a blanket, no clue how I got there. At least back when I was still drinking I could blame something other than myself for that kind of shit.
You should go to AA meetings and warn people about the dangers of sobriety.
my paper on vitamins just turned into a 2 hour tangent google search on what i should buy to best cure a hangover. I need to stop getting high before homework
Gotcha. How bad is it?
Well to compare it to something I would say it what's that walls would like inside the primate exhibit at the zoo after a group of monkeys finished throwing feces at each other all afternoon
An old white couple caught us smoking the foot long. THE LOOK ON THEIR FACES.
I literally woke up walked into the bathroom, threw up and died this morning. Then went to my 8am.
Randomize
