i just remembered that i beat off next to you while we were naked and passed out next to each other after last night... No Homo
Girl next to me just ralphed in a bag. Congrats class of 2010
I froze in his sixty one degree room but i came so hard. Like fucking the eskimo god.
All I could understand from his text was "hatchet" "soccer" & "bitch". its safe to say andy has had enough to drink & will be violent soon
well.. I tried flushing my sandals down the toilet
So yeah you need to stop having near death experiences at McDonalds.
And dont forget my 23rd birthday where with no underwear i crawled through the cage of the police car. Dont get drunk be fore you get drunk.
I'm also 3/4 on the frats. Its like my goal of traveling to all 7 continents, but different somehow and a lot less morally sound.
I dont know if you relize this but ive been high ly medicated in my room for a whil now. GOing out into the real world would make me li ke tom ha nks. im not ready to be tom hanks..
I'm gonna fingerblast you when you get off work. Get ready.
He goes "sorry was at the gym. Some of us workout " and I wanted to text him back and go "well some of us do occasional drugs so we don't have to"
I'm about to be a GTA V widow, he could at least throw me a bone. Literally.
I feel like a drive thru vagina
I'm sorry. I slept with him again. On the plus side he's got better at it!
The guy like flippppped out and made me pay $15 for a car wash. I thought I was being extremely courteous by making sure to puke outside the window
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