I just ate 10 fun sized 3 musakteers.. I'm pretty sure I'm about to start my period.
Talk to you next week
That ginger could cleveland steamer me and it would still be the best day of my life
I got tired of walking to the bathroom that I decided to throw up in a cup. I now have 3 cups full of vomit on top of my mini fridge
She woke up with blood running down her face and asked the EMS guy where the keg was
So I realized I'm not completely sober when the automatic toilet flushed and I screamed
my roommate just showed up covered in dirt, drunk....with a whole ice cream cake that says "it's a girl".
She just landed. Popped over for a BJ and left. I'm a fan of layover layovers.
He sent me a Microsoft outlook meeting request to blow him in the storage room at work. I had to accept.
Dude she said she'd let me snort a line off her ass now I just have to wait for them to break up
I think I just got judged by the pizza guy. dude, you deliver fucking pizza. you need rethink YOUR life.
No but I was fuckin done when I realized my acrylic nail caught fire when I was hitting the bong.
My head is just one big fuzz right now.. Its like someone replaced my brain with a teddy bear
I really love you gals. I'm sorry again. I'm just super protective of my poutine
Not entirely sure how I got drunk off 2 mimosas but here I am
i just remember that i was on top of him and he wasnt contributing to the event much.. god i hope he wasnt asleap.
Randomize
