I should be sponsored by Trojan
i just witnessed two asians having sex for the first time ten feet away from me..hes having a seizure..what the duck is going on???
I feel like if I were on Intervention, I would have to be a season finale.
im spending all my christmas money on new years parafanalia aka things I will ingest or lose by the next morning
Jerry just sent me this: IOR GHIT ALL THE BUTTIB. Go get him. Now.
Between the booze, mechanical bulls, and penis's I think my body hates it when I'm single
she screamed "gravy"!!! in the guys face and then stole the very large mans food in line ahead of us... that was just the beginging of the police report.
Just switched my underwear without taking my pants off don't ever be ashamed to be related to me
To give you an idea, there's a group upstairs trying to break down a door with their fists and heads.
By the way, do you realize that you asked me how much you could get for your eggs last night. And once you learned the price said that you had plenty to share.
I just found one of your beard hairs in my oatmeal.
He just showed up in boxer briefs and loafers with only his phone and condoms
I have rug burns on my nipples. Thanks for being an awesome wing girl.
Oh god...Did I just fuck a sugar granddaddy?!
Pro: 2020 made it easier to hook up with strippers
Con: explaining to Kari why there’s always strippers at our house
Pro: there’s always strippers at our house
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