Thats the last time I go out drinking with my Irish friends. Two shots of flaming sambucca = bar on fire. I was only trying to high five the barman.
once he started yelling at me in latin, i wasn't sure what we were fighting about anymore...
if you can see her tanning goggle line that's officially a deal breaker
I think I breastfed the cat at some point during the night, at least that's what my nipples are saying
he urdandictionary'ed 'tease' on his phone and made me read through all the definitions. Am i really that bad?
You slept in the bed with him... with your top off.... and just made out with him....
You sent her a pic of your dick with 'guess what you cant have anymore' written on it with a marker.
He tried to make eye contact, he should know by now that freaks me out
Now if u will excuse me I have to go prep my vagina for this amazing sex filled weekend I'm about to encounter
it was good, but also weird. like, i came four times and then cried weird.
Do you remember lying across two tables saying 'go away I'm trying to pull' to me, Sollie and Sean?
If there's one thing I learned yesterday, it's that if I really wanted to I could be mayor of Toronto.
I was in the rappers prayer circle. Then they're blunt circle
He was referring to me as "Teenage Dream" the whole night
Long story short I ended up getting choked out by a really hot guy in the girls bathroom at a bar last night
he's trapped himself under a bed and is screaming at a robot dog to give him a blowjob
Randomize
