Why do girls get to wear clothes that say "do me now" but guys don't have that kind of option?
I mean, what would the male equivalent of a slutty dress be?
in the practice room. just found 3 bottles of smirnoff hidden inside the piano. SO glad i didn't get into berklee...
tonight is going to be epic. can you pre-book an ambulance?
On a scale of one to everyone dying I say let's aim for a 7
6 margaritas later and free shots of tequila, i woke up with a fat lip and they said i blew my nose in a slice of bread
Dude Eric's high and buying everyone taquitos. How much room do we have in the freezer?
I asked her to make me water, which in turn meant get me a glass. She handed me a cup of microwaved ice cubes.
It's all good. The CSI guy came and I played the theme song while he in was in our place. The cops even laughed.
High school girls are buying me shots. This will not end well.
Have you ever stopped and thought "I do NOT want to be inside of this person right now. Or ever." Because you should.
I just sang Hey Jude with a homeless man and then we drank beer together. Then I watched asians take pictures under a xmas tree for an hour and fell asleep in an MGM Grand bathroom stall. #AloneinVegas
my whole wardrobe smells like substance abuse
well considering the guy who just delivered my cookies had to console me as i had a mental breakdown in front of him i'd say i'm 4/10 right now, thank you
I was alternating between saying "yall need Jesus" and "God bless" the entire night
I just twinged a muscle in my shoulder trying to hug myself. In the world of loneliness-based injuries, this is a new low for me.
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