She made the grapes disappear! ALL OF THEM!!!
i think im in love. he told me he doesnt care if i shave down there.
i just realized i have an entire drawer dedicated to the clothes of guys ive shacked with...
Used tampon in my purse. That from you?
my way of studying for our final tomorrow: registering online to retake the class in the fall
I mean what are real friends for if they won't hold down your wedding dress to allow for a keg stand
Finished the final in under ten minutes and then puked in the bushes outside. I don't even care if I graduate anymore.
I don't think it counts as a walk of shame when it's someone you've wanted for 4 years. That's mission accomplished.
I just sat in the bathtub with the shower running so I could eat the whole box of mega stuffed Oreos. What am I doing with my life
You told me I couldn't make out with you until I added you on LinkedIn
The cleaning lady has moved my vibrator twice now so I would say I'm pretty ready to move out.
My friend had to carry her up the steps on his shoulder, and then she got up, found an ironing board and set it up in my friend's room just in case he needed to iron things.
What kind of present accurately says to my male suitemate "I'm sorry that I accidentally flashed you my vagina while I was super drunk"?
I thought you might think I was an idiot who thought cock rings prevent STDs,
oh.. my GOD my dad just text me... "i need a naked women" ........... help?
Randomize
