Is it sad that I'm on the stopduiaz.com website and there is a cute boy but it will never work between us because hes in jail for 17.5 years?
Um.. is it mean if I say yes?
How would my first penpal letter even go? "Hey saw you on stopduiaz.com, sucks you killed that motorcyclist. Whats your favorite thing to do on the weekend?"
I woke up to somebody tossing my salad... I should have drank more
Do you how many people I've successfully loaded into a Mazda Miata? Six. Six people. How? Strategically.
she said my body looked tiny like it was a bad thing and then didn't even mention how great my tits look. it's like we're not even friends.
Wait so they unscrewed the bathroom door to find you naked?
he needs to hurry and make his mind up... i mean i can't keep getting peed on by a guy who isn't even my boyfriend
I deserve like a purple heart or something. I just made it all the way drunk through my 2 story house without making a sound. While carrying a trombone.
I feel like an elephant shit on me and left me to be miserable
And if you ever tell anyone that I have emotions ill kill you
Snaps to my Ella Fitzgerald station for such a jazzy walk of shame
What procrastination leads to: I have submitted a third of my job applications this week with a BAC that would get me arrested
after sex he fell asleep with his water bottle in one hand and his dick in the other at 6pm. I'm a winner.
Sorry for peeing on your books last night. I wouldn't leave them next to the window anymore.
She is either doing really drawn out crunches or trying to sniff her boobs...She's lying on her back with her hand behind her head, forcing her head into the cleavage that's ok to expose and then moves her head back and then does it again.
sometimes u just gotta ride a dildo and forget about life
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