Midnight walks are trippy
I tried to do that earlier, but I was alone and scared, so I stole a happy Birthday balloon.
I am currently prioritizing my hw by splitting into things i can and things i cant do drunk. Oh college
She wanted to test if her costume allows her to still have sex in it. It does
there's something wrong with the internet when a search for "barney the dinosaur violence" comes up with nothing
Talk about the highs and lows of a night out: had a threesome, then got robbed at knifepoint.
I just saw a girl walking up the hill with a little red wagon full of booze... I want to be in her study group.
Maybe someone other than the mad hatter should have gone with him to the ER
I cant shower it involves moving...
Just lay there and turn the water on. At least rinse off the shame.
I was loaded. my pee still has a hint of lime
Someone I just met told me they were going to name their kid after me. Daylight savings is weird.
The night is not complete until I am drnk and speaking to inanimate objects
I'm currently on an epic search all over the city for a drug store that isn't sold out of Plan B. I celebrated your birthday from afar.
He apologized for cumming on my leg, but not for ghosting me for 3 weeks before :(
If youre worried about being stabbed, you probably shouldnt be there.
All I wanted was a good weekend full of booze, laughs, and maybe some penis. Instead, someone is in the hospital, I didn't sleep at all last night. And not because I got laid.
Randomize
