What time are you coming? Can you stop and get mouse traps and trojans?
You have mice?
no why?
Learned a lot. Like boys with frosted tips still exist. And that they're sensitive to constructive criticism.
mimosa in my stainless steel water bottle. going green is not that bad.
We left around 4 AM after the stripper showed no mercy and dropped into a split on Matt's nose. Massive nosebleed.
i just feel like it would be irresponsible for you to not have sex with me again.
My vagina agrees.
I could write a book on how to barely get by in community college. I just took an online quiz on my phone, at the bar, 6 minutes before it was due.
When they say "all expenses paid" does that include bail?
Disasters an understatement. Hurricane alpha chi omega hit. On my way to buy carpet cleaner, super glue, and a new liver. Be back soon.
So as I left the Australian's hotel room, I said "Welcome to America. You're going to do just fine here."
I'll text you later. I think she thinks we're taking this whole "no sex" thing seriously.
Whoever roofied me last night owes me a new pair of white jeans
I've never seen an uncircumcised penis. I mean in person. I've clearly seen an uncircumcised penis. I have the google.
I just fuked with kevins application and made it say that he does conjugal visits for community service
hey some people donate their time while apparently kevin donates his body
I danced my ass off after the funeral last night. Kept dropping it low and I can feel it in my legs today. Im like shit I needa go work out
What a way to honor the dead
I'm too horny to sleep. I need some violent sex to wind me down.
Randomize
