mom and grandma are in town. grandma wants to get drunk with you
Just so you know, I have a bf.
I guess as long as you bring single girls over and cook cannolis you will still be useful.
Besides, I'm not in my 30's. I'm still allowed to drink wine from a bag.
I would say a second date is not looking likely, I acciedentally bit his penis. it's still bleeding 43 minutes later.
she said shes getting her period tomorrow so she wants to have sex now. i didnt object. it would have been heartless.
ofcourse you didnt.
Also...you were trying to touch his balls without him noticing
And there I was, sitting Indian style on the kitchen floor, my fingers covered in peanut butter.
you're asking me why i keep burn ointment in my purse.... do you really want to know the answer to that question?
Dude, you bit through my nipple. Give it a week, damn.
I feel like as your wife, as cool with your decision-making skills as I usually am, there should be a bigger explanation to you adopting a child while I'm in Houston.
No padding. I spent my whole summer with my nips out. October don't need that too.
Kyle found me outside his apartment in the hallway. Said he didn't hear me knock bt smelled alcohol through the door. I'm sucha bitch to my liver
I lost my bra, he lost his virginity. Seems like a fair trade off.
Note to self: never fuck a Canadian, surprisingly highly disappointing
Maybe it’s too soon to casually tell the boss that I went to Tulsa for some dick last night
Randomize
