I mean I like that it's warm enough to open the windows, but it annoys me that I can't walk around naked anymore.
Just got blown on the bus in front of abot 20 ppl. Lots of high fives.
whatever buzz i had immediately ended when i saw her run through a sliding glass door
Just remembered when I bought that round of shots I told the girls to "get their whore friend" who was making out with her bf instead of drinking. I don't know why they stayed.
She passed out on the kitchen table with two mickeys forties duct taped to her hands. Clearly she is going to fit perfectly in your house this semester
I miss college girls! You know how depressing it is to fuck 30 year olds? That's what failure feels like
I'm two sheets to the sexual wind
Well I was going to go home but vodka happened.
The more I drank he just got hotter and hotter. And then the mustache didn't look too bad
This weekend I turned down sex to watch the Star Wars marathon... Is this growing up?
she kind of stumbled up and said "Bitches be needin' stiches." i thought i could convince her to break a bottle over someones head but she fell onto her face and passed out before i could say anything
Who is this? I have a text from you last night telling me your name and to train hard for Tuesday, please make this make sense
The shitshow that was last night is the gift that just keeps on giving
Hey. I hope you have enough room in your car for me and a Honda civic front bumper.
we went to go have morning sex and I said “I was gonna put my mouth on it but you need to shower”#ruinedthemoment
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