that john and kate plus 8 dude has ruined asians for me
I have two black x marks on my hands.
Yep you got cut off last night after a stripper bent over in front of you and you screamed very loudly 'I can see your soul from here'
damnit I wish I could remember that.
Thong +tight pants =hungry butt. Not a good look on big women! Walmart sucks.
i celebrated the independence of our country by dry heaving tequila all morning. so classy. happy 4th.
Kinda wish I banged him. I need the exercise.
Just made nachos out of string cheese and sunchips and laying in my bed watching babay einstion..get on my level
new girl just came onto the hall stumbling drunk with no shoes on and the guy who brought her doesn't have them either
Dude I reek of $2.50 pitchers, $1 off/pack marlboro cigs, and fear.
Fear?
FEAR.
Zach, it's Lisa from work. Was that you yeiling BALLS DEEP at me on I-25 or is it just something about me that invites that from rando creeps?
I did a kegel this morning to determine if I had been penetrated during last night's blackout. Nope.
Im playing a game I have to take a drink every time my gram asks me the same question hammered by 4 guaranteed
I've had way too many dicks in my mouth the past two weeks. Ready to go back to school and be a doctor now
duddde i wasn't even home last night and someone elses clothes are on my floor and there glow sticks everywhere?!
her idea of a romantic time is a bottle of jager, some Guacamole and chips.
can't go wrong with guac.
While finding our clothes afterwards he says..."So do we like have to talk after this?"
Randomize
