I bet there is no greater pleasure in life than pistol whipping people.
Anal.
Disadvantage of being gay..... my gag reflexes makes trying to make myself throw up extremely difficult.
i just found out that washing ur bong in the dishwasher works. its been a productive day
Eating in charleston sc at a seafood place called "hymans". Like normal I had no problem finding it.
She bet her virginity on the Celtics. Looks like Kobe wont be the only one breaking in a new ring.
Rode a jet ski for the first time three days after I lost my virginity. Hell of a week for my vagina.
I woke up this morning with my hair wrecked, a split lip, and an "H" on my right knee and a "I!" on my other knee.
We asked "Is that Andy puking in the bushes, its 7 AM" he looks up and goes "It's okay guys, its 7:30"
this is not real life
it never is. after midnight never counts.
We used a lit joint as a candle for her birthday cake
How dare you. Idk what you called me, and neither does google translate, but you better take it back.
You asked me if you could throw up in my shoe.
She just texted me that she's horny, then started quoted random music, then telling me everything she regrets. I don't think there's enough tequila in the world for me to deal with her...
I don't really want to have sex with him, I'd just want him in a threesome. Does that make sense?
I just fully woke up, never smoking that much weed again. I had stress dreams about your house being surrounded by a lake and we kept losing our cars in it.
Randomize
