3 st and 6 ave. One dollar pitchers. Look out world.
The problem is he wears abercrombie jeans like there's nothing wrong with it
Nothing makes my dick softer than hot girls in rain boots.
my roommate just showed up covered in dirt, drunk....with a whole ice cream cake that says "it's a girl".
You mAke me stone. Stone fuck fucking stoned. I'm an stoned you cuz now fucking stoned stoned fucking stoned I stone.
He just told me what he wants for his birthday. "a noise complaint" he also said he wants to be the cause of all the noise but he won't be the one making the noise.
I found my keys in the basement freezer. Drunk me is a sneaky little bastard.
What I'm saying is DOWNGRADE. Like, do you see the caps lock?
you threw me on the ground pryed my purse out of my hands screaming " I JUST WANNA HOLD IT A LITTLE BIT". later i found you putting on my lip gloss.
Today's goals: get day drunk then sober up in time for the walking dead tonight.
woke up to my little sister's best-friend's boyfriend in my bed, but how's your saturday going?
i am no longer ashamed when i walk into the dining hall for sunday brunch and i'm greeted with applause for suriving my weekend
The car smells like weed is an understatement.
Maybe the "i killed someone" and "tequila makes my clothes come off" comments freaked him out.
At what point did i decide poptarts, nyquil, and whiskey was a good idea?
Randomize
